(photo by NikkiCyp ) USGP Madison, WI

"Belgian Face Warmer"

I had a lot more going on outside of racing than I thought this weekend, but it was just as awesome. Maria and I headed up to a casino for our wedding party and hit the blackjack tables. Anyone who knows me knows that I have never been to a Casino.

We sat down at a $10 dollar table around 12am and walked away with 150% of what we sat down with around 2am. Pretty cool. That should help with the last minute wedding needs and a few other things.

I heard that the 'Cross race in Madison's Angell Park was once again sweet. Haven't seen many pictures outside the one of fellow teammate Jason above decked out in his lastest Belgium Face Warmer. Inspiring to say the least.

I am kind of burnt out on trying to stay in a cycling regimen at this time - I probably should have been more honest with myself regarding this once we decided to get a house. There is always something to do, and by the time we get back home each day, it is just too easy to lay on the floor and hang out with Fritz. I don't even have my tires glued up, or my frame re-built. I am mentally and physically shelled. Cycling has become a process for me, and a process that is being pushed farther and farther back. It has developed a nagging voice that I can hear right before I grab my bibs and shoes, and a discouraging one at that.

I will have Dog in a Hat (reading it again) along with me this trip for some motivation.

the odd thing: I am starting to enjoy running more. Maybe I should hop on the Stepplechase bandwagon before it becomes so popular it demands its own snarky internet forum.

Looking forward to:

Our Wedding. After a year of decisions, planning, travel arrangements, stress, a new house, a new pup, more planning, a change here or there - our wedding is coming up fast. We have learned a lot about the process, the frustrations, the challenges, and the happiness that comes bundled with getting a wedding organized. Maria's parents have been awesome, as have mine, at making sure we are set and sane. Maria and I attended her Mom's family reunion this past weekend - it was a glimpse of the amount of people we will see Oct 3. Her mom is one of 12 siblings, whose father was one of 16 siblings. My pops has a sister; my mom was an only child. I continue to be amazed at how large Maria's family truly is.

I hope this needs no explanation. My favorite book as a kid. Do it justice, Jonez.

and of course, Cyclocross. I have completely fallen off the wagon as far as a training plan. The wedding/dog/house trifecta has taken its toll, but those are far from bad things. Works has ramped up as well for Fiscal Year End, and I have found myself just wanting to lay down next to my bike instead of pounding out a daily program when I get home. More rides on the road have given me a boost in attitude. Building the workbench for bikes/fly tying has helped a bit as well. Each year I tell myself "there is next season," and it is repeated like some annual mantra. Setting realistic goals when you have a full-time job, a wedding, a house, family, etc - I really need to do better. My goals are like dreams - totally floating in this ether of "there is always a chance that the 15-20 riders in front of you will all flat simultaneously." Time to shift my focus. No one but me races my bike or pays my bills...

Can O' Worms


So I am going to open this can: What is it that the ICA contributes to Illinois racing? So far I have only seen increased race fees. I know there are ICA supporters out there (for one reason or another), but I have a really hard time trying to figure out the services ICA will provide. I can appreciate a supportive Cycling initiative, but only if the results of higher race fees are truly visible in the community.

Anyone can say they support a certain aspect of cycling, but talk is cheap and the races are getting expensive.

fire away. I am all ears. No vaporware please.

the beautiful secret

it's on one of those days that everything hits you all at once. not just the heavy issues - but everything. i typically find myself hidden away on my bike, cleaning a turn or tucking in for a head-wind stretch. the fuzzy mind slowly peels away like tissues in a slight breeze, revealing an underworking that has screamed for light since i-don't-know-when. it all just spills out in a stop-frame style, like the animation in the frosty the snowman tv specials - you want to believe it's real, but it is so jerky and wide-eyed to be anything else but the afterthoughts and slight dreams of a creative force left to sleep for too long. most folks can attest to a sensation of meditative existence during which we forgot we turned left then right and then hammered a straightaway for 20 minutes only to show up at home, sweaty, tired, and amazed that we cannot recall the operations necessary to get from where we were to where we are at the minute we arrive. the fact that the path we took to get home cannot be recalled but the rusted out mailbox or the broken vacuum with a sign that reads "will take best offer" rarely bothers us - often times we revel in it. that escape of the 'everyday' is a winter window left open. it is crisp and vital, and rare.

that, to me, is the beautiful secret.

it is now a new season, when an early saturday ride no longers means 630am at the local diner parking lot. I can hear soft cheers of families and kids at their soccer games. i can hear the distant call of geese, lofted above the road ahead. i can hear the snows of winter, slowly coming up behind me.

but most of all i can feel the awkward excitement of chilled mornings. i hear the clang of bells and the taunting words of fellow racers, lovingly belittling my every effort with the utmost concern.